Spotting A Liar

Crucial Body Language Cues to Know When Doing Business Abroad

Source: http://www.onlinemba.com/blog/crucial-body-language-cues-to-know-when-doing-business-abroad/

Going to a foreign country? You can study up on Berlitz tapes or Rosetta Stone all you want, but in any culture, the verbal particulars tell only part of the story. Subtleties of tone and posture make up a large part of communication, even between fellow countrymen. The language barrier just puts even more pressure on nonverbal expression. So before you flip the Burmese version of the bird, or try to give a German prime minister a friendly shoulder rub, you should try to have a clear idea of the rubric of understanding through which your gestures will be interpreted, the standards of behavior to follow. Here are some of the most costly slip-ups you’ll want to avoid, most of which would be totally unremarkable back home:

• Don’t point with your finger.

  This is probably the single most likely body language mistake to get travelers in trouble, because it’s very widely considered rude in many different countries … while in those cultures that lack such a taboo, it hardly occurs to us that anyone would find such a clear and expedient gesture vulgar. After all, we call it an “index” finger precisely because it’s used to, well, indicate things.

  The best alternative is probably to gesture with an open-palmed hand, which makes sense, as it has the connotation of being inviting, rather than potentially accusatory. This latter issue may also be why some cultures do make a distinction between pointing qua pointing and pointing at somebody. It may help to think of your finger as a make-believe pistol: never point it at another human being, even if it’s not loaded.

• Don’t eat (or do any number of other things) with the left hand.

  Those of us who are southpaws may find this offensive, but in many lands there remains a strong prejudice in favor of the right hand and against the left. Most famously, in India and throughout the Muslim world, the left hand has always been designated for, ahem, certain necessary-but-unpleasant tasks. This is not some xenophobic urban legend, but a simple historical reality: mankind had to develop a lot of other ways to clean up before Cottonelle® came along. Indeed, many people still see our beloved modern convenience as less “clean” and prefer the old-fashioned method.

  Even in countries where Western toilet habits are firmly (but softly?) established, a certain spiritual unease about the left hand is common. The transgressive form of Tantra, for instance, the (rough) Buddhist equivalent of black magic, is called vamachara, “left-handed attainment.” We in the West have our own history of superstitions about handedness; it seems practically universal. Probably it’s that most people are genetically inclined to be right-handed, and we view the unusual as suspicious. If you do use your left hand to gesture, eat, or pass an item to someone, they probably won’t suspect you of sinister intentions or leftist agitation, but they may very well find your behavior gauche.

• Don’t do the OK sign.

  You know that gesture you make where you join your index finger and thumb, to signal OK? Well, in some places, it’s very much not OK, OK? It means “money” in Japan, signals the “evil eye” in the Middle East, is an aggressive gesture in Brazil, and in Greece or Turkey it’s even more offensive (denoting a certain body part that’s already entered the discussion here, and which people don’t typically like to be called). Unfortunately, the closest American equivalent, a thumbs-up, is also used in certain parts of Asia and the Middle East as a shove-it gesture akin to flipping the bird.

• No come-hither gestures.

  That curling finger or fingers indicating that you want somebody to head over your way … you can perhaps see how this one could be taken as a bit too forward, even in our own permissive society. There’s something presumptuous, sensual, and potentially creepy about it. But in Asia it’s much worse: it’s considered an insult, a gesture appropriate only for beckoning animals. To Singaporeans it even symbolizes death. Yikes. Considering that Singapore is a common business destination with strict rules and some very colorful ideas about Hell, you might not want to come across as the Grim Reaper.

• The infamous chin flick.

  In parts of Europe, especially Italy, the gesture of flicking the top of one’s hand out from under one’s chin is a common gesture of defiance or disregard: not obscene, exactly, but very dismissive. On occasion, an innocent scratch of the chin can be mistaken for this contemptuous maneuver.

• Be careful where you point your feet.

  In many cultures, the feet are considered an unclean body part due to contact with the ground. (Thus the grave insult of shoe-throwing, once directed at George W. Bush, who, one must admit regardless of one’s political leaning, managed to dodge both shots with panache.) Avoid pointing your toes or soles at another. Never throw your feet up on a desk, unless you’re back in America, at your own desk, and you’re a cigar-smoking tycoon with a monocle.

• V is not always for victory.

  Take the two-fingered victory sign made famous by Churchill (or the hippie peace sign). Now turn it around. What do you get? The number two? Not if you’re in Britain, which is among the countries where this is the equivalent of our middle-finger salute. So don’t try to order two baskets of fish and chips this way, unless you want a scalding cod across your face.

• Nothing, not even nodding, is universal.

  “If you smile at me, I will understand, cause that is something everybody everywhere does in the same language.” That’s an uplifting thought (even in a song that seems to be about survivors of a nuclear holocaust), but is it true?

  To respond with another, older song, “It Ain’t Necessarily So.” Whether we like it or not, in this tower of Babel we call Earth, there’s such a huge diversity of cultures that even a smile doesn’t always mean the same thing. Grin at strangers in Prague or Seoul and they may peg you as a lunatic.

  Meanwhile, in Bulgaria they shake their heads “yes” and nod “no.” To indicate “yes” in India, you shake your head left to right in a “bobble” motion.

So what’s a poor confused traveler to do? First and foremost, just do your homework. For each country you visit, at least skim a guidebook. Is that so much to ask? You don’t want to come across as the famous “ugly American.” When in doubt, reticence is best. Speak and move as unassumingly as possible, especially when it comes to hand gestures.

And do less talking and more listening (and observing). You can take your cues from how others carry themselves. Go by the ancient saying attributed to St. Ambrose: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Unless what the Romans do is flick their chins at you, in which case, it’s probably best not to reciprocate. Capisci?

 

Content and Context

by Shelly Hagen

Environment plays a huge role in how body language is expressed and interpreted. When people feel free to express themselves without reserve, you can get a great read on their nonverbal gestures. For the most part, when those same people are forced into a more conservative setting, their behavior adapts to the surroundings. But this isn’t always the case. (Picture the coworker who takes his frat-party behavior into the conference room, for example.) What are you supposed to make of people who don’t adjust their behavior to their surroundings?

Letting Loose

When you head out for a night on the town with your friends, it’s a good bet that your body language is as relaxed and as uninhibited as it’s ever going to be. You’re touching people, invading their personal space, smiling, angling your head to look coy, batting your eyelashes, and puckering up—in a friendly way, of course.

When you head back to the office on Monday, most of these behaviors won’t be coming with you. There’s simply a time and a place for wild displays of giddiness and enthusiasm, and then there are settings that are far more reserved. Granted, some workplaces are more relaxed than others, but for the most part, there’s an expectation for employees to behave in a professional manner. That pretty much nixes the cuddling and the friendly touches you enjoy doling out over the weekend.

Rein It In

But let’s say you’re one of those people who doesn’t believe in toning yourself down for anyone. What other people see is what they get, and you’re not ashamed to be loud, brash, and very expressive, no matter where you are. There’s certainly something to be celebrated about having a free spirit, and if your lack of inhibition has served you well, then more power to you. However, many people who refuse to adjust their body language to their environment find themselves on the outside looking in.

Bosses expect employees to conform to a certain standard. Coworkers want to know that the people they’re in the trenches with are professional enough to get the job done. Everyone in the office wants to avoid offending clients. These types of relationships rely on successful verbal and nonverbal behavior.

When it comes time for promotions and raises, everything about you is up for evaluation, including your body language. If you’re making people uncomfortable with your nonverbal cues or if your behavior is a huge distraction to the staff, then you’re a liability to the company.

Some examples of distracting or offensive body language in the workplace:

• Ogling potential mates, which is just plain lecherous
• Standing too close to coworkers or clients invades their personal space and makes them uncomfortable. Give people at least 18 inches, up to 3 feet if possible.
• Constantly touching other people is also an invasion of personal space.
• Continuous yawning or sighing makes you appear bored. These are also “contagious” behaviors. (Before you know it, everyone in the office is half-asleep.)
• Foot tapping or finger drumming can be very distracting to others around you.
• Lots of self-touches—to the nose, to the eyes, to the mouth—make people queasy. No one wants to touch your hand when it’s been all over your mucous membranes.
• Constant throat clearing or loud, booming laughter can also be highly irritating, especially in close quarters.

So should you sell your soul to the corporation and become an unmoving, unfeeling zombie? Not necessarily; just consider toning down any inappropriate behaviors—and then note if others are responding to you in a more positive manner. A small change in your nonverbal cues may be all it takes to move the spotlight off of your behavior and onto your work, where it rightly belongs.

Source: http://www.netplaces.com/body-language/minimizing-body-language-mistakes/content-and-context.htm